My New Year's Resolutions

(Note to reader: I will only tell you of my successes. Do not expect updates. List is subject to change.)

1. Walk my dogs on a regular basis.
2. Sell my house.
3. Curse less.
4. Eat more chocolate.
5. Drink less scotch.
6. Quit bullshitting so much.
7. Try harder not to break #3.
8. Avoid passive aggressive commentary in blogs.
9. Avoid yuppies.
10. There went #8.
11. Stop being so hard on self.
12. Tour the "Urban Bourbon Trail."
13. Throw a fun Kentucky Derby party.
14. Look for good deals to travel to California wine country.
15. Re-think #5.
16. Floss more regularly.
17. Be more timely with tasks (i.e. making New Year's resolutions on the 22nd of January).
18. Judge less. Do more to be judged by.
19. Wii fit the hell out of my nasty-ass muffin tops.
20. Never, ever put #3 on list again.
21. Buy a nicer house.
22. Nevermind #21. That'll make me break #9.

C-me-resolve...