One of my greatest character flaws in running my mouth. When I get angry, I quickly spout off to whoever happens to be nearby. People who know me really well just let it go--they know that I will chill once the catharsis is complete. A good friend of mine recently reminded me that I need to be more careful who I choose as listener for my venting because he/she may not understand that no matter what I am saying, I am likely only momentarily upset.
This made me think about 'talking behind someone's back' and I realized that I probably do this far too often. Granted, most of it is harmless, 'ugggh' kinds of things--passing annoyances easily dismissed. Nevertheless, I decided that I should tell my friends/family directly when I am upset about something. I try to delineate between passing irritation and true issues that are getting in the way of my relationship with him/her. I recently made my first attempt at telling someone about what was bothering me, only to have it blow up in my face.
So, what now? I don't want to be cynical and just say, 'well, back to sh*t talking,' but seriously? Is this why so many people gossip and avoid honesty from the get-go? I realize that sometimes I could use more tact--who couldn't? But I want to feel as though I can speak candidly with the people in my life without fear of an nuclear meltdown in the relationship. I simply cannot tiptoe around on eggshells sugarcoating everything--it's hard on my back and sticky as all hell.
Maybe I just overestimate the openness of my relationships. Maybe I am just a jerk. Maybe most people just 'can't handle the truth!' But maybe, just maybe, I did what was true to me--and I won't apologize for that.
Lisa 'veritas vos liberabit' C
No comments:
Post a Comment