You'd better watch out!

The Santa Myth

November 21 2007

Whether you're the kind of parent who creeps in on Christmas Eve to deposit presents at the foot of the bed, or goes so far as to put sooty footprints on the living room floor, apparently most kids have twigged the truth about the man in the red suit by the time they're seven and three quarters.
Back in the more innocent 1970s, children apparently believed in Santa beyond the age of nine, but a new survey by Disney to mark the launch of Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause has found that today's kids are more clued-up.

From: http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/todaysnews07/news_211107_03.asp

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I was raised in the not-so-innocent-80s, and I am here to tell you that I believed in Santa.

Until I was 12.

Yes, really. (I was a late bloomer, in bra size and emotional maturity.) I'd suspected for a couple years, but when I finally pieced it all together, I told the family member I thought would be the least angry with me--a favorite aunt. She got wide eyes, and said, "You'd better talk to your dad." Crap. I was in trouble for not believing in Santa? My dad seemed somehow befuddled by this development in his little girl; he alternated between what seemed to be anger and disappointment. Finally, he pulled me aside, and told me that yes, I was right, there really was no fat man in a suit who delivered presents--but I had better be clear on one thing: "The spirit of Santa is very real. And that is what's important."

As with most things in life, my dad is so right.

My nine year old is dangerously close to not believing. And I, well, I feel my father's anger and disappointment at this development. Last year (when she was in third grade), she came home and questioned us constantly: "Mom, so-and-so said Santa isn't real...is he? How does he get to all the houses? Does he really live at the North Pole?" This was exhausting, this constant parade of know-it-all, disenchanted eight year olds trying to wreck my little girl's belief in Santa Claus. So you know what we did? We lied. We bought sleigh bells and made Santa-landing-on-the-roof-noises. We baked cookies and left them out for the big guy. We tracked Santa on NORAD's website. We kept her believing in Santa, if only for one more year.

In my research for this blog I found people calling Santa 'the big lie.' This crushes me a bit. Since when is believing in something you don't see, but benefit from, a terrible thing? I wasn't broken spirited when I found out Santa wasn't real. And when my kids quit believing, they'll be just fine (I may not be, however). My husband never believed in Santa, and he feels totally robbed. I did believe in Santa, and I am thankful. It's a lie, but as far as I am concerned--believing is always the truth.

Lisa 'Jolly ol' C

Burn, baby, burn!!

I am gearing up to teach Fahrenheit 451, and this if-you-never-read-it-but-always-wondered-what-it-was-about-GO-READ-IT-NOW cultural landmark of a novel always makes me think about how much books mean to me. So, in celebration of my Right to Read (ah, Cpt. Beatty--how I understand thee), I feel now is an appropriate time to talk about books I have loved and the sweet, sweet times we've had together (even if they didn't call me in the morning). I chose something from my past, and something that recently reminded me of the power of literature:

1. The Little House on the Prairie Series: These are the books that made me love reading. I think I read each one five or six times each, within a couple years' time. I loved Laura, her Pa, Ma, and sisters. I loved Jack, their little terrier who faithfully followed them across the prairie. I loved the idea of living in a dugout, and thanks to my favorite pioneer family, I still remember how to turn Maple syrup into candy using nothing but snow. Ah, the Ingalls...
2. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie: This book somehow made me laugh and cry at the same time (really, I am not exaggerating). The book is partly autobiographical, and purely delightful. Alexie takes an unflinching look at 'the rez', and does not try to paint Native Americans, ahem, Indians, in any light other than the one he can shed on those nearest and dearest to him. There is tragedy, joy, and a basketball game that will wound you in the scarred place we all carry around from the trauma and triumph of high school.

God, I love books.

Lisa 'bookworm' C

What do you think?

Answer the following (in your mind, on a post-it, whatever). You must choose Agree or Disagree, you may choose neutral ONCE:

Technological advances make life better for everyone.

It is dangerous to place too much faith in technology.

Most teenagers are online too much.

Computer technology makes finding information faster and easier.

Adults too often use computer games as a kind of babysitter for their children.

Lisa 'Thinking' C

You. Have. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

Let's play that fun game of Which One Doesn't Belong':

You have a stylist, a personal dietician, and a trainer who keeps your body tight.

You are successful, and have made tons of money.

You hit the red carpet with camel toe.

Hmmmmm....

Lisa 'Dromedary' Cillessen

Oh, the humanity!

Observations as I shopped on Black Friday:

1. A woman lost her child in Children's Place (I never realized how ironic that store name was until that moment). I was at the checkout and noticed a great many people saying, 'Ashley' over and over again. The store employees were suddenly all over their walkie-talkies, and the phone by the register in front of me was occupied with a woman calling mall security. The mother was over my left shoulder, bawling her eyes out, hoarsely calling 'Ashley'...when suddenly the woman on the phone said, 'Ma'am, ma'am...mall security has her. They'll be here in a second.' Even the day after Thanksgiving there is always reason to be thankful.
2. My mother-in-law was talking on the phone via earpiece when a Lowe's store employee came up to ask if we needed help. Before I could answer that we needed Velcro, Patti said, "Baby, whatever you want..." (to my father-in-law about buying pizza). The poor guy's eyes went quite large for a second before I explained that she was on the phone.
3. At 6 p.m. in another store:

Store Clerk (holding the copy of 'Chuck and Larry' we were buying): "Have you guys seen this movie? Oh my gosh...it is sooooo funny. I laughed so hard! It's really, really good.

Me: How long have you been here?

Store Clerk: Me? Oh just a few months...

Me: (I make a face.)

Store Clerk: Oh, you mean today...oh. I got here at 3.

Me: Ah.

She was the first perky clerk I'd seen all day. Most store employees had been on since 4 a.m. so by noon they were spent. Speaking of spent...I am headed to bed...

Lisa 'Shopped 'til I Dropped' C

Because it needs to be said...

I have three family members planning weddings right now. All parties will be married within four weeks time next summer. As everyone plans their weddings, I feel compelled to say a few things...

Above all else, weddings are about union. The matrimonial celebration is not only about the joining of a couple, but the joining of families. I feel very powerfully that a wedding should be about inclusion--not exclusion. Argue if you will that it is 'their day' and they can do what 'they' want because it is 'their wedding'--in which case I ask, then why don't 'they' go have 'their wedding' by 'themselves'? Why worry so much about who is paying for what, how many people to invite, and where grandma is sitting if the special day is just for the two people getting married? The idea that a wedding is just for the couple is total bull. I'm pretty sure no couple pays $32 a head for 'their' enjoyment.

Someone whom I love dearly has recently been excluded from just such a celebration. By excluded, I do not mean the wedding party is 'full'--I mean she was left out to the tune of, "I picked ________ (a non-family member, while my friend is) to be in the wedding...you're not upset are you?" My darling friend is far more diplomatic than I am and she won't blog about how hurt she is--but I will. I think it is absolutely wrong to callously pick and choose wedding party members when it costs the wedding couple NOTHING to add people to the party. The bridesmaids/groomsmen take care of their own clothing, etc. so logistically the policy of pick and choose doesn't make sense. And going back to my argument of inclusion--why not work toward having more people there to support and eventually sustain your marriage than fewer? I know what marriage looks like two, four, and eight years into it, and those who were included on my wedding day are still those who I count on to support our marriage.

Hurt feelings last indefinitely. A wedding day lasts for 24 hours.

Lisa 'gotta say it' C

Five Fingers of Thanks

Today, here is what I am thankful for:

1. Electricity. I couldn't blog without it.


2. My new washer and dryer--these have literally changed my life.


3. The fact that I have been married for almost nine years and I do not have to plan and execute my wedding ever again in my life.


4. Snow on the ground. So pretty.


5. Beer.

Lisa 'Turkey' C

Annoyed

This is the email I received from my child's first grade teacher today:

Just a quick note to let you know that I found Taylor's Oct. 15th and Oct. 22nd homework papers today in her desk as we did some cleaning. I am trying to help to remind her but at this point it's going to take more push from home to really get this done. She doesn't see any importance in the homework she's doing and is not following through on returning her work on time. Any assistance from you guys at home would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for all that you do. Ms.XXX

My very diplomatic reply:


Ms. XXX,
We did get behind on her homework--honestly, during the week we are just non-stop go-go-go. We've always dealt with weekend homework with all the kids, so the 'due on Friday' schedule has thrown us for a loop. And obviously, we haven't done a good job of integrating her nightly homework into our routine. Honestly, we usually don't think to do it until Thursday night--and if Thursday night is busy...well, you see what happens. She brought all the backed up work last week--obviously little miss just stuffed it in her desk. I will work harder on instilling the importance of homework in her (and us!) and we'll be more diligent in the future.

On a plus note--we do read every night without fail, so she's got that going for her!

Have a good day,
LC

What I wanted to say:

Are you effing serious? First graders do not need nightly homework. They need literacy integrated into their daily lives and we do an outstanding job of this in our home. I am not surprised that Taylor sees no value in her homework, as I do not see the point of her doing mindless worksheets and telling me her address and counting doors in the house (assignments actually given). I am an educator and I fully understand the importance of at-home reinforcement of important concepts, but I do think you should sincerely question whether your little green grids of gloom that come home every Monday really are a means to that end. Furthermore, at the age of six, the reality is that the so-called 'homework' is really being assigned to the parent and I do not need or want this added to my evenings. Have a delightful day.

Nip/Tuck

Oh. My. God.

I don't watch much TV, but there is one show killing me right now. Can we just talk for a minute about Nip/Tuck?

Can they say that on TV? Can they repair that in real life?

I need to take a shower after I watch this damn show. Between Julia's lesbianism, Christian as a male magazine model, a really, really naughty18 year old, and the dominatrix...eww? I don't even know what to think. I know this is the most base, poorly written (hello...where's Conor and his effed up hands?) season yet, and I am still compelled to watch. It's the trainwreck syndrome; I can't look away.

We also tape Heroes, but I am taking a break from it--I got a bit annoyed with 'everyone's a superhero--look she can copy TV!' thing that was happening. Write a plot line, dammit...don't just aimlessly expand the cast.

That's all for now.

Lisa 'TiVo' C