Make like a Volcano and Vent

I said I would not be passive-aggressive using my blog. But dammit, it's my blog and I'm going to vent.

I'm going to vent about Britney Spears and how disgusting she looked at the VMAs. I want to write this letter:

Dear Britney,

You have millions of dollars. Quit getting your weave from a beauty school dropout.

You have had two kids. Quit acting like you didn't.

You can't sing and we've know that forever. Quit f**king up your dancing--it's what we counted on.

Love,

A concerned citizen

I'm going to vent about teenage girls letting their boobs hang out of their shirt. Seriously? Why do I have to call attention to it? I HATE that part of my job. Why do you want people to feel uncomfortable? Because a couple teenage boys might have to carry their math books in front for a few minutes after seeing you? Ick.

I am going to vent about shared custody where kids have to move back and forth between parents' houses. Let them choose a home base for the majority of the time. The arrangement may work while they're little, but it tears them up when they're in high school. I see it all day long.

I am going to vent about health food freaks/certain medical professionals/know-it-all-health-nuts. I am going to clue them on a little something: You will die. Life will kill you. And from time to time I'd like to have a McDonald's french fry without seeing that bastard from 'Super Size Me' in my mind. It's called moderation, people. Try it.

I am going to vent about people commenting on my weight. I don't comment when you look like you've put on ten pounds, so quit giving me nasty looks and saying skinny in a way that I know does not imply praise. And believe it or not, there are things that I am very uncomfortable about on my body too, so don't dismiss me based on my pant size.

I'm going to vent about venting. I get to do it if I want. I can say what I want, because if I deal with the consequences, who gives a sh*t? Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words, and by golly, that is how I live. I get mad quickly and I cool down just as fast. I don't hold grudges very long, and I sure don't pick fights. I bust my ass to include many, many people in my life and with all those personalities around me, sometimes there is conflict. So, when I get frustrated, I run my mouth. I'm tired of apologizing for this part of my personality. Anyone who knows me at all knows my venting is mostly steam, and once the irritation is out--it's gone. And for the record, that rapid dissipation of anger benefits many, many people in my life who have hurt me. It's true that in my older age I've learned when I should and should not say certain things to certain people, but generally, I talk. That's me.

Lisa 'Mount St. Helens' C